Don’t wait until it is too late.  Prepare now for an impending zombie attack while you may do so without having to sprint down the street.  As with any natural disaster, there are measures you can take now to help prevent you and your loved ones from becoming members of the walking dead.  The following is a list (but by no means an all encompassing list).

Getting in Shape:

Be prepared for whatever type of zombie that comes your way by exercising daily, including lifting weights and cardio.  Slow moving zombies are most dangerous in groups, so you’ll need significant muscular strength or even martial arts to fight off 2 or more of these zombies.  Faster moving zombies are agile and may possess inhuman strength, so you will need to be able to out run them.  A carefully planned daily exercise regime will greatly enhance your chances for escaping any zombie encounter.

It is also not clear whether zombies can hear.  Just in case, you should begin practicing zombie movements now.  In front of a mirror, practice moaning while moving stealthily and quietly.  These exercises will help you blend in when large numbers of zombies are present, reducing the risk of being attacked by a zombie (but increasing your chances of being slayed by a zombie hunter).

Protect Your Body:

You should consider having a tailor make a custom full body Kevlar or high grade/high strength leather suit for you, all members of your family, and possibly pets.  A suit of such caliber will greatly enhance your chances of surviving a full-on zombie attack, or protect you from a random and unsuspecting zombie bite.

It’s not clear whether zombies can see colors or shapes, so it is best to paint the suit in camouflage, or for better protection, make the suit appear zombie-ish, as if it is covered with blood, increasing your chances of a zombie mistaking you for one of their own.  The suit should also have a zipper that runs the length of the crotch and buttocks area so that you may quickly relieve yourself of needed.  Women should think about carring a “Go Girl” so that they can pee while standing or running.  It would also be prudent to pair this suit with a pair of steel toe boots and leather gloves.

The best way to be prepared to protect your body it to carry the suit, boots and gloves wherever you go.  By doing so, you can immediately deploy your suit should you encounter a zombie, by throwing the suit on over your clothes, putting on the shoes and slipping on the gloves.  You should be able to do this at a dead sprint.

Stockpiling Resources:

The best way to avoid a fatal, or near fatal, zombie encounter, is to stash away a supply of vital resources.  By most accounts, a zombie uprising/invasion will most likely lead to scarce food.  You can maintain some freedom by reducing your consumption of food.  To do so you must start a reduced calorie diet now.

Another possibility is to learn to hunt and eat native birds, and animals.  Be prepared to eat your dog, cat, or neighbor’s pet if need be.  You may also plant a garden near your home, and have your friend’s plant gardens as well.  In conjunction with these gardens, it is very important to keep the area fenced off, as zombies will usually wander aimlessly and could destroy your tomatoes and/or saffron by pacing back and forth across your raised beds.

Meat is an important source of protein, and is almost a required source of food.  Learn to make beef jerky, so that you may preserve it for later.  Stock pile canned meats at work and at home.  Despite its abundance, eating zombie meat is not recommended.  You can try it, but make sure to cook it well if you do.  If, after consuming zombie meat, you begin to feel zombie-ish, like suddenly having a proclivity to eat a member of your party’s brain, you should be prepared to shoot yourself, or have someone else do it for you.

When it comes to cooking, it is not clear whether zombies can smell. If they can smell, then cooking should be done indoors and without spice so as not to attract the attention of zombies.  If zombies cannot smell, then cooking indoors or outdoors, with or without spices should be fairly safe, provided you are wearing your full body suit.

Preparing Your Home:

Preparing your home for a zombie attack is no different than preparing for a burglary, hurricane, flood or other natural disaster.  Know all of your entrances and exits.  Keep your home well stocked with guns, bullets and canned foods.  It goes without saying that you should know how to use those guns.

You can quickly and easily zombie-proof your home by installing hurricane resistant windows and steel doors.  Build out “secret” rooms in your home.  The secret rooms should be located in places that will make it easy to shoot zombies while hiding.  For example, an attic space is perfect.  If a zombie enters your home you can run up to the attic, pull up and lock the stairs, peek through your ceiling holes, a la “ceiling cat”, and shoot the unsuspecting zombie.

Generators may be a wise investment, but the noise they make or lights they run may attract zombies, so you may want to limit their use.  If you are dealing with deaf zombies, then daytime noise will not be a problem.  You also have to remember that generators require fuel.  You will need to start staking out fuel sources now.  The cars of neighbors, who have fallen victim to zombie-ism, might be a good start.

By taking these few easy steps, you can greatly enhance your chances of surviving a threatening zombie encounter.